Casual Wednesday & The Perils of Working from Home

My boss is pretty cool. There's always coffee to drink, music on the air, and if I so desire; the permission to wear my Hello Kitty flip flops around the "office." All in all, the atmosphere around here is pretty casual.

MAN - It's gonna take some getting used to.

I've always wanted a job where travel is minimal, and parking is cheap. I have that now, but to get used to the fact that self employment is my work, and what I do for roughly 10 hours a day (right now), is my job, is a tough nut to accept. Sure my client base is building, and one day I may be so busy, I'll look back on this blog, laugh and yearn for the "good 'ole days." However, for now, getting used to the concept that my office attire can be considered casual wear each and every day is strange. Don't get me wrong, I like that I'm sitting in a sexy negligee, eating bon bons, and wondering if Stefano DiMera is still alive.....

But I digress.....

I love my alone time - As I get older, the time I need to myself grows. I'm content, comfortable, and it's a necessity. However, I am noticing that combining work, and home into one, could be a problem if I do not implement the right plans to alleviate such feelings of seclusion. I've read several blogs about individuals working from home, and as the pros and cons weigh in - each blogger states the worst part of a home based business is being alone through the day. Whether it's missing a simple chat with colleague, or receiving positive feedback on a job well done. Already I can feel the motivation slipping to spend all day working from home, and although I know it's been such a short time (and an important time), this is the time where failure could feel imminent, because of the infancy of the business.

We are our own worst critics. All of our successes and failure are solely on us. We cannot blame anyone for things falling apart. Poor planning, and decision making isn't derived from what others have done....so that being said - I need to get over these feelings, and create answers to these "problems."

I will need to look at getting out of the house as a break to the day, and not as slacking off. I need to schedule "me" time, and bask in it....Not look at it as a trip towards failure. I need to know I'm not alone (even though I'm physically alone), and that hundreds if not thousands of people, have felt, feel or will feel the exact same way.

Even though the world of unemployment and self employment currently feel like the same thing. I know I should learn to enjoy this growth and time of change for what it is.

TEMPORARY

"The Boss" of Me

When I was working a 9-5 job in an office in Whistler, I proudly added to the collection of personal coffee cups a mug I purchased at a Bruce Springsteen concert (Bruce is my absolute musical idol). It was heavy, it was large, and it had the faces of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. To me, life (and coffee) couldn't get any better then that.

The mug, is my office mug. When I moved back to Ontario, I packed it up with visions of bringing Bruce to my next workplace, placing the mug lovingly amongst the other 9-5 mugs. However, things did not go as planned and the jobs did not come; Bruce sat in my cupboard, patiently waiting to be brought to a new office Instead, I was given the chance of a lifetime to become self employed. To start a brand new business with the help of the Ontario Government. That being said, Bruce has not moved from the cupboard for over 6 months.

Until Monday

Monday, bleary eyed, and groggy, I made my trip to the kitchen for my daily dose. The Business Development Course was over, and edits of the business plan were in full swing. The final steps to the final presentation to Employment Ontario. I now had no class to go to in the am, and had to re-adjust life as a self employed person. Working for myself, by myself.....Long days at the computer with no conversation from colleagues. Nobody stopping by my desk to chat about the weekend, and no tasks waiting for me that I myself did not create. Monday brought forth a different type of work day. One completely decided by my actions and decisions.

It's always been about me when it came to Virtually There. The marketing, the promotion. The logo and design. The clients, and fees....everything, but when you are sitting a class day after day for six weeks, the thought is there, you know whats coming; but for me, it wasn't until I was making my morning coffee Monday where it all hit me. My future is now completely in my hands. My paycheque, my business successes, everything. It was a little freaky, and a little scary.

Thinking about all these things before my eyes had even fully opened, I looked into the "office" and thought - this is my workplace now....this is my commute. This is where I make my dreams and my future come true.

I looked up into the cupboard, and reached back to my faithful mug. I poured my coffee into it and sat back and reveled in what was about to transpire in my life in the weeks and months (and years) to come.

Bruce and I were finally back at work - and the only Boss in the mix besides him, was me.

It's Been Nine Days Since My Last Confession

When I set this blog up, it was my intention to write each and every single day about my new business venture, starting with my Business Development Class (BDC), and slowly making my way through the trials, struggles and tribulations of a newly self employed individual. What I didn't bank on was the emotional exhaustion it took my to write the business plan, while also trying to balance my life. I found with each day of writing, I was tapped out and had a hard time forming words, never mind sentences.

However the progression to completing my business plan took, I am now in the final editing stages of said plan. Hopefully by end of next week, I'll have it fully completed and tucked away never to be looked at again.

But then - I jest.

When I think of all the factors, all the considerations it takes to not only write a business plan, but a plan that will prove viability and success in the long run - I am not too certain how one would go starting a business (or even considering it), without a plan. My brain had to wrap itself around concepts and ideas I never even considered. Worst case scenarios, financial projections into the third year of the business, stages of growth, anything and everything you can possibly have cross your mind (and more) when it comes to running a business all written down to be dissected, scrutinized and hopefully, approved.

I am a very passionate writer. It's something I love to do, and have often written in life's tough times to get over hurdles, or whatever curves life has thrown at me. It was different this time. This time, my business, my desire to work for myself hung in the balance. It wasn't a blog about my feelings, or where I was in life. It was hard facts, data and bringing my virtual dream down to the nitty gritty. Money, program continuation and proving to myself I could do it have all been critical factors. Perhaps this is why it was such a tough go for me.

Yesterday, was the last day of the BDC - we are now sent off into the world to put our plans to the test. To market ourselves and our business, to build from the ground up what we so diligently put into words for the last six weeks. With the exception of a few monthly meetings, and some evening classes, group 49 is now own their own - with strength and determination to make our businesses a success.

MY GOD I'M SCARED

As much as I enjoy my time alone, I've never worked alone. I've always got up, and went to work...Now, my work is at my home, and I worry about my self discipline and how I can create an organized and efficient work environment in the place I used to come home to every night, weary from the world outside. I know the standards of discipline I will have to set for myself, and will have to implement. I just hope, I can stave off the loneliness so that I can remain effective in my business.

As I sat in class yesterday, eager to get out and start my business, but also fearful of being house bound - another anxiety crept into my head. These come and go, and I know I am not the first self employed person to feel it, and I know I wont be the last.

CAN I MAKE THIS WORK?

From time to time I get emotions built up inside me that scream out "OMG, you are going to be a star!" and other times the fear of failure creeps in and tries to take control. Completely natural I know, but scary nonetheless, and waking up this morning, sitting at my desk, and not having the slightest clue where to start, didn't help.

Like all chapters in my life; this one is riddled with lessons. Lessons I've already learned, and lessons waiting in the wings....

I've come this far...I can't stop now.